Friday, October 02, 2009

Terms of endearment

When one likes another, be it relationship, friendship, mateship, etc most people start using nicknames or terms of endearment. Most of these are harmless, some make no sense to others, a few might even offend other people. There are some that slip between the cracks that people don't acknowledge or if they do it feels a little strange to others.

Case number 1 in point - "Sexy"
Used by most people at some point or other, unfortunately it's a term that is either accepted by the majority or purely in the eye of the beholder. It's one of those terms that anyone can use for someone they believe is "sexy" and don't intend to be offensive, or sometimes a little over the line. I, personally, like to use sexy when I'm attracted to someone who I'm in a relationship with. Although I used to use it sparingly I have been told recently that it us too creepy and the fact that others use it in reference to their beloved it somehow undervalues the sentiment. I didn't really believe Cath either, but at the moment I'll keep the comment to a minimum.

Case number 2 in point "boy / girl"
I may have acces to a certain social networking site - on this site I might have a friend or two - of these friends I might have a couple who recently referred to each other as "boy" and "girl". I don't see a problem with this, both parties are using a similar term and don't have an obvious problem with it.
Now for the sticky issue - female friend of both comments on the male's reference to his girlfriend as "girl". Scathingly comment attached which follows the lines of "you don't own her, she's not 10, you should call her woman". This left me a little sick. Here was a couple who displayed their affection for each other in public, in a way that was comfortable for them, and ONE of them was shot down. No comment to the female for calling the male "boy" instead of "man", no nothing of the sort. No comment that the display of affection was nice, just that this 3rd party didn't like a perceived insult to the female, even where none was obviously not intended or existed. It bothers me this black and white attitude to "respect" and "political correctness" that has once again excluded the middle class male from any form of rebuke or support.

There are times when I, and others, want to display our affection for those we love and how we feel "ownership" and "owned" in our comfortable relationship. People who don't understand it or perceive a "threat" need to find a short pier and take a nice long brisk walk.


Cath said...

When you don't feel sexy... and someone calls you sexy - I feel weird. Not so much the creepy.

But I love you too sweetheart.

Anonymous said...

I have never been addressed by my nearest and dearest as "Sexy" and I'm pretty grateful for that. It would hugely creep me out - definitely with the creepy on that one.

And the second one - gotta love that screaming double standard. Joel and I call each other "bitch" as in "Can I have a cup of tea please, bitch?" The intent is what is important, not someone's perception. And the law actually backs that up too WRT racism and sexism - if there was racist/sexist intent then it is racist/sexist otherwise choke on it political correctness junkies.

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