Wednesday, September 10, 2008


I sit here, unemployed and sick, bemoaning my life. That's really not a good start. I'm not "unemployed" I just haven't started my new job yet. Yup, I got me a nice little break and a cool new job too! Suck on that "You don't fit in" idiots! But I am sick. More than usual even! I have the dreaded spring cold. Apparently it's running rampant through Melbourne currently. My entire family has it and I've dealing with the last little bits of it now. It hit me last thursday and let me tell you from about 5pm friday until sometime saturday I was having a seriously fucked up time. I've never hallucinated without the need for drugs before, I think my body was doing something seriously crazy!

Anyway, it's been a long time since posting and since I've been very sick it's been a long time since I've been able to exercise (or eat anything by fruit - score I've lost weight!!). It's just that I've had nothing overly tempting to post about.

I tried the other day. I thought to myself "Go out, it's the perfect time to do those things you wanted to do during the day but were at work". Thing is, I can't think of anything I want to do that doesn't cost money. I don't like spending money at the best of times, so when no money is coming in, I'm even worse.

I dragged myself out to the local shopping centre last week (perhaps where I picked up my cold) and was again amazed at the amount of people there during the day. All sorts of different people. I really had no idea so many people didn't have "normal" work type things to do. And no, I'm not counting the mothers who have the "JOB TIMES ONE MILLION" that just isn't fair. I'm looking at the teenagers who should have been in school. The 20-somethings who looked like they knew they should be somewhere else. The 30-somethings escaping from the office or the store to wander aimlessly. There wasn't a very big mix of the 40-50-somethings, but once the 65 age hit, oh boy, the blue rinse brigade were everywhere! I'm all for power in your retirement and all that, but some people really need to learn how to age gracefully. Or at least somehow. It's just a little scary.

I almost got to the point of understanding those "Fix your life up" shows on TV, just watching these people stumble through life (20-somethings all the way up) was amazing. Mouth open, eyes glazed, credit cards ready to swipe. I tell you if anyone has any argument about humans not being herd animals, they haven't been to a public place recently.

I tested it. I caught myself following along behind a group of people. Well a big group of little groups. Many 2's and 3's joined together. On both "sides" of the shopping centre. Each "side" going the different direction. Of course not the "stay to your left" or anything like that. So I changed. I walked in the centre of the aisle going in the different direction to the crowd, just to see how it went.

Most looked at me through glazed eyes if we approached closer than normal, then shuffled out of the way. The odd one or two would register I was a person and step aside. At least one every so often (it happened 3 times at that trip) actually bumped into me.

Perhaps I should clarify. When I say "bump", it's actually someone walking where I'm going to be walking. It's not me being very arrogant, it's me accepting the size I am and respecting my own personal space. ... Ok, yeah sometimes it's me being arrogant. But I like that at times. Cath can tell you about the trip to the Vic Market one day, I'm sure that other woman and her child will never stop in front of someone ever again. Damn tangents - bump. People seem to have this perception that if they keep walking everyone else will get out of their way. Generally there is a short list that will make me step aside - if you are bigger than me, if you are scary than me, if you are in some way confined, or I have some sort of respect for you.

In other words, if you are a short middle-aged man pushing people aside as you walk by them, I will NOT step aside. I will however ask in a loud voice "What the fuck do you want?" When your body ricochets off my side and you stumble in the group of giggling teenagers. Being 6'4 and a little large, I'm not the one who ends up rubbing my sore butt after it lands on the ground. I will be the one laughing at your sorry arse for being so stupid though.

Perhaps all this stems from that one time the 7 foot Mongrel Mob bikee stepped aside for me on a footpath in Auckland when I was knee high to a grasshopper. Not only did that scare the crap out of me, but it sure put the knowledge of respect into my head. I believe he even smiled at my mum as I tried to figure out how close his head was to the sky. Damn that guy was tall. And I was so small.