It's my party ... err life

I've been told on more than one occasion that my life is boring. That it's my own fault for not having a life. That if I want something I just have to go and get it.

Well, funny thing is - I know all of this. I know my life is boring, from the outside. I know I don't have a social calendar that is full up from here to christmas 2010. I know that if I want something I just need to stand up and grab it - in fact I've even done this.

The funny thing is - at times, I like having a quiet life. I like not having anything to do. I like getting to the weekend and thinking "So, now what shall I do?"

Cathy has mentioned these things many times over the course of our friendship and then relationship. But she wasn't the first and I doubt she'll be the last.

Funny thing with me, that I don't know if other people do, but I can see both sides of the equation. I can see the positive effects on one's life to having a busy schedule, having lots of things to do and lots of friends. But I can also see the negatives to it. On the flip side I can see the positives to leading a nice quiet life. But again, there are negatives.

I will always be the first person to stand up and say "I know my life isn't perfect". Yes, also the person who will stand up and say "Yup, I can be lazy". Hell, even at times I'll just sit there and say "Fuck it all, I'm not even standing up".

I look at my parents at the moment. They both work crazy hours during the week and then get home to 2 pre-teens (and a teenager, but we won't go there) who have a social and school life the envy of any teenie booper. I'm serious - these kids go out more than anyone else I know.

I just feel there needs to be some sort of middle ground. Some time where it's said "Stop, just give me time to catch up and smell the roses". There has to be a time where everything is rushing ahead at full steam - but then also a time when you sit down and think "Fuck, I'm actually bored ... and that's ok".

Or is that just me? ... Am I the only one who can see a period of doing nothing a good thing?

Previous posts I've written recently have lead to comments from a few people in my real life - the scheduling, the extra study, etc - that have made me think "Am I the strange one?", "Am I the one doing the wrong things?".

Problem is, I know I can push myself to the nth degree. When I do though, the universe decides to push back harder than that and I end up on my backside (well usually in bed wanting the hell that my head has become to go away). For me, that balance is more important than trying to do everything now - or to put it off until tomorrow - or even to "plan for the long term".


I have seriously made no sense in this post (as if I've made any in recent posts) but there is one thing I know - there will be comments. Probably not here, but there will be questions and comments and jabs.

Perhaps this is all about other things, but this is the stuff that's at the top of the heap right now. Give me some more time and I'll be able to dig through some more crap and find something golden. Who knows, I might even get something good to put in my blog. Failing that, naughty.